carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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