and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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