So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
