Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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