she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
