Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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