i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
