is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
