And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
