I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
