none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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