I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
