well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
