69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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