So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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