On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
