she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
