There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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