You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
