Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
