It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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