dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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