Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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