She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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