We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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