I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
