I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't tell me you're on acid again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
