Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
