What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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