apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
