He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think i peed on brittanys purse
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
