it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.