Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
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and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
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took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.