I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize