I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.