Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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