i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
