I hate your face
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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