I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize