I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
