Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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