he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
