Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
