You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
