We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
