This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
