I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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