There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
