I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
