omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"