I think about you every night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
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I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.