the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...