i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the day after is always just damage control
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i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.