I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?