So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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