What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
