he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize