I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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