Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
