You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Please, let me fuck your mom
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
