using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
