She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
