Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
