I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
