what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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