just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
