fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
