awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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