a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
