Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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