Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
