I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
