you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
