She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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